Recent Movie Reviews

Biosock Biosock

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Meh...amusing but average

Dude, so obviously just ripped this off from Family Guy. In fact, in fine print on your description it says, "Helz yeah, I just ripped this sh*t off of Family Guy, ain't I the shiznit?!"

Seriously though, I appreciate a good parody as much as the next guy but this had very little actual Bioshock content. It was like you just used Bioshock characters to get a lot of extra hype for some random humor that wouldn't have been popular otherwise. I can understand video game character cameos if they make sense in the context, but not when their just put into random stories to get extra views (though the guitar shredding plasmid in the beginning was funny). The graphics and animation were very average, which is perfectly fine. Newgrounds is a place for hobbyists and to expect professional performance from everyone would be ridiculous. So overall it had average animation, average graphics, average jokes, average voice acting (hey, not everyone can afford to hire eggoraptor) that just happened to use Bioshock to get a little extra popularity. That get's you in the mid 3's for scoring in my book and it seems everyone else would agree.

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The Hobbit - Act I The Hobbit - Act I

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Nice to see you back.

It really is nice to see you animating again. I know you're not professional and most of the gigantic fanbase you once had is gone but it's always good to see an average joe make a flash.

Newgrounds has changed greatly since your heyday. It's professionals' only now. You anticipated that expert animators to take the top spots in the portal and quite frankly I couldn't be happier with that. It's given the site a new legitimacy that it never had. You've admitted yourself that you're not a good animator and I'm not going to be the mindless fanboy of yours I was in middle school and deny that truth. That's why I'm giving you a six out of ten. The flash was all pretty average. The skills that it takes to tween a simple character model are minuscule, the humor was predictable (though you should get points for the Tom Bombadil reference), and your art style is undefined (disclaimer: I can't draw for crap).

But hey, that's fine. You still have a right to put something here like everybody else. Internet flash animating in general has become a contest on who can be more professional then the other guy. It's no longer a place where the every man can just roll up his sleeves on a few Saturday's and put out a video game parody for the fun of it. The blam system, once in place to prevent porn adds and people who didn't know what file type to use, now blams people for not being professionals in their work. Tweening, sprites, fan parodies, and other tools for people new to newgrounds so they can animate for the fun of it are forbidden. They're now seen as sins against mankind itself. The feeling drives off the mystic feel of wonder I had as a kid to say, "Hey, I can make a cartoon!"

I'll admit there is some justification in it. Some people with no animating skills whore their work and stretch pointless concepts just to squeeze money from their depleting fanbase (illwillpress) and some good hearted hobbyists feel that their home learned flash skills are enough for them to warrant professional recognition (Wonchop). I can see how the community would get angry with that or how professional animators would rightfully feel credit is wrongfully being diverted away from them. But kids who watch an amateur flash movie like yours, who to them "It's time for the rave!" jokes are outright hilarious and think, "Hey, I can can make a cartoon TOO" are unfortunately caught in the crossfire of it all.

I know that this rant had very little to do with your movie and the two people who would read this would rightfully find this review unhelpful. But it was a concern I had to get off my chest and you making a return seemed like a good opportunity. I know you won't read any of this either 8D

Either way, I'm glad your still animating now matter how unprofessional you are. The average Joe (in this case, the average Joe Blanchette har har har) has the same right to submit as everyone else. After all, our new motto is Everything , by Everyone. May your fanboys not delude you and your haters not blam you. And god forbid any other review is as long and pointless as mine :-)

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Metropolis Circuit Metropolis Circuit

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Made of Awesome

Far be it from me to read your reviews, but I've noticed that you've been taking a little crap from people saying this is exactly like Race++. Now that they mention it, I see some similarities (Boy and Girl with gadgets racing downhill to music in a somewhat futuristic city that has blimp(s)), but I know those similarities are inconsequential. That flash was 3 years ago and it didn't establish any monopolies on races so far as I know. And besides, Vinnie never created an ongoing story to his stuff while you've said this will be the beginning of a major one. If you'll excuse the nerdy analogy, I know that this flash has about similarity to Race++ as The 1986Transformers movie had to Star Wars.

At this point I WOULD like to review the animation itself, but I can't. The problem was that this made at a professional level with more effort then I could probably comprehend (and that I can't animate). If Adam Phillips had a monopoly on epic animations, you've certainly taken busted that with this flash. *thumbs up* You not shaded everything, but added color gradients to every...single...frame. Wow.

Now go make the next one!

Recent Game Reviews

The Room Tribute The Room Tribute

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Oh Hai Room Game

Cool game Fulp but you do not have breast Cancer. It's bullshit, it's not true, you do naaaaaaaaaaaaawt. And IT'S TEARING ME APART! Anyway, how's your sex life?

Oh hai doggy!

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Super Mario Hardcore Super Mario Hardcore

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Oh what a glorious glitch

If you keep holding down C when you cross the finish line, your gun keeps shooting on it's own for the rest of the game. Except when you press C on the next level, additional bullets get sent out. Don't fix it, because I like having a machine gun by level 3 ;)

As for everything else, the mario rock music was ftw, the shooting of everyone was ftw, and the hilarity of mario with a shotgun was ftw. I didn't figure out how to aim my gun like in the last game, but when you have a machine gun, who cares? Graphics wise, well, they were sprites. But they were animated well enough so that I wouldn't care.

Ultimate violence ftw!

Casualty responds:

Thanks FTW!